few thoughts pt. II 120808

an extended version, here we go

1. Good things always come to an end too soon or at least we think like that. I'm only couple days away from going back home. It doesn't make me feel good or sad but I'm definitely not indifferent or being blunt about it. I know that's just part of process; you have to go back at some point. Where is the returning point? I don't know, we'll never know but what I do know is that I have my life back there, the type of life that I want to cultivate and keep it fresh...as long as I can. 
2. Out of all those I hugged tonight, how many of them will I really see them when I go back? I don't even know. 
3. What I definitely bring back home with me is this; purpose. My life is now loaded with purposes. I have reason to do things and I have reasons to live now. It will take a time for me to let go of all the pasts, distant, instant, whatever...it will take time and I won't force it to let it go because more you try, harder it gets because what it does is that you are only reminding yourself those pasts over and over again by forcing it. We all went through it and I won't be so fearful anymore. That's not going to happen to me anymore. I won't let it. I have people to share my pains with now. I always had them, I just didn't want to acknowledge them. 'Love', that's all I live for and I'll do whatever it takes to not only get it but keep it as lovely as possible. I know I can do it, I'm sure of it. 
4. Trust me, I haven't thought about my final thought...I know it'll come sometime sooner than you think.  
5. Paris, here we go. Bring it.