few thoughts 120608

1. the show's over but the magic hour starts now
2. so the first hour was little bit boring because it was pouring outside and no one is showing up so we ended up eating almost all of our food. However, 7 o'clock rolled around and people decided to show up and all, it was nice. 
3. Me personally, it was really weird to stay the whole time during the show because I had a private room for my work and I didn't want to peep over my room to see who's reading and whatnot but you can't help it!!!!! It was little nerve wrecking. So I went back and forth from 1st and 3rd floor up and down. I tried to not to make an eye contact with people who's reading my stuff. I was...really weird out. My face was blushing at times and everything. Next time I do this, I'm going to travel somewhere while the show's going on, seriously. 
4. People got drunk afterwards, what do you know...I slept like a baby. 
5. After the show was over, I finally opened up the box. It was insane. What people had to say about themselves were just nuts. You would think you are the only person with a problem or even problems but no, everybody hurts. I couldn't help myself from crying so much after reading all those. It was hard to read them through, I think I have to read it over and over again...it was really intense and it was also a learning experience for me as well. I still don't know exactly what kind of impact that I gave to people who read my stuff but having to read all of different responses definitely helped me to get through with what I am going through. It was really liberating. I can't say it was 'interesting' to see other people's insecurities. I didn't mean to pry on to people and people didn't HAVE TO respond to it if they didn't want it to but this whole experience really made me to understand that we all carry some kind of burden and we all want to get rid of it but everybody has a hard time doing it. I'm really finding me in this stuff. Doing what I'm doing...it's only time I get to be myself anyway. 
6. Bob gave me really good hug after he was done reading my stuff, I was in verge of crying because I guess, I felt it. The whole night was kinda emotional. 
7. I'm starting to understand...what I want to do with this art stuff and what I can do with this art stuff. However, I think I am starting to understand what I can do for myself. That's the most important thing.