few thoughts 111208

1. Final project. Conference. Ehh...you know the drill
2. Cold weather is finally catching on here in Rome. Weather is chilling out a bit, I feel little wind and it's bit more gray than when I got here. I LOVE IT. COLD WEATHER FTW!!!!!!!!!
3. I spoke damn near perfect Japanese today!!!!! It hasn't gone away from me yet!!! Hooray!!! I was at the paper shop to buy me some wrapping papers and some materials then the lady at the shop ask me if I was Japanese, I said no but I know how to speak the language...so the conversation was on and she helped me so much. I got some compliments from lady that I speak pretty good for only studying year and half. I was even surprised that I could speak like that. Anyway, at least for one day without any communication malfunction in this city even if it wasn't Italian. Victory for David, yes! 
4. As usual, make it smaller. Concise!!!! I have too many thoughts in my head, sometimes...
5. I am starting to miss home now probably because today's my brother's birthday. It will be first time that I won't be around for anyone in my family's birthday. I know it's not a big deal but it kind of hit me in the chest little bit that I'm so away that I'm not part of something that I'm deeply attached to; family. My feelings are getting better, however, I don't freak out anymore. I do freak out about something else but not about my family. I'm glad that we as family doing pretty well right now. Sure, money sometimes come up little short and we butt heads and whatever but that's like every family. I miss my dad, I miss my mom, I miss my brother...it doesn't devastate me that I won't be home until Christmas but just for today, I wanted my mom's cooking, I wanted to hear my dad's obnoxious snoring and I probably could've let go of my brother being a punk ass for just a day. Today is just that day. 
6. Seriously though, I'm starting to working on my final project right now. I can't really give you any details on what I'm doing but I've been having pretty good idea on what I wanted to do since day one so there's no doubt on what I'm doing at this point. Conference with Ellen helped me a lot with just to sort out what I should do for my final. As usual, she's open to things that I do as well as what others do for their respective projects. I want my project to become a memento (or even TESTAMENT!) of me that allows people to see how I have come to this point also I hope it allows me to be little bit more honest. There are lot of things that beneath me that are so deeply hidden and I wish to kind of let it out in the open, in a good way. I don't want to be whiny anymore. I'm done with that. I finally realize my purpose of doing this thing and even though I do this for myself, it's lot more than that. There's a certain kind of responsibility that I should have for myself when I make my art. I know I got the keys to the door. I know it for sure. I even have keys for all the cars and these cars I see, they are some pretty nice looking whips...shiny, brand new, fast, powerful and all that. Like Lambo nice, like Rolls Royce nice. That's what I'm about and you get the picture. Honestly, every quarter since I started my photo major has been provided me a learning curve that allowed me to grow up in many different level and this quarter is no exception. I'm making a quantum leap right now in terms of growth in many different aspects of my life, not just in art. In fact, I don't even care if I don't make any artistic growth after this trip, I really don't. I know things like that don't develop over night and I'm pretty damn sure that I've been growing that plant up ever since I got into this thing. My language have not changed at all but it's firmer now. I'm still ME and I always will be ME, difference is that I'm more certain that this is ME. 
7. If you ask me what I want to do with my life, you should reserve yourself at least 2 days because you are going to open up a Pandora's box for real. Don't worry, I'll keep you entertain.