few thoughts 102808

1. Rebecca, you are my inspiration...how can I not love you?! Yes, "It's only a start". Why do you say such nice things to me and means it to your dearest? You just gave me the biggest advise and encouragement so far in Rome and I don't think no one will ever top it. IT'S ONLY A START. 
2. talked to my brother for the first time since I came here. it was good to hear his voice...i've been pretty consistent with talking to my parents but my brother was always AWOL but today, i got a hold of him and it was good. looks like he's doing just fine and i was really relieve that everybody is doing just fine. it's always in back of my mind, my family...it always is, i can't help it but i'm glad my brother is doing good, only if he could go to school more consistently, it would be lot better but i can't complain. no matter how much we butt heads back home, my brother is my dude...that's just the fact. 
3. i want to make you feel really happy
4. so...it's little tingly inside right now with me...or is it?
5. why is it like still 80 degrees? yes! I AM COMPLAINING!
6. so this thing that used to bother me...it doesn't bother me like it used to...at least it doesn't destroy me...because i figured out what i'm really missing...i only miss those times and memories within. nothing else i miss more than that...i really don't...only problem is that memories are something you don't see, you have other things that construct your memories and feelings, like places or a person. i only miss those feelings that i had at that time and it's not about the place or the person, it just happens to be that those feelings and memories directed to that place and that person...it could've been anywhere and anyone...i only miss the feelings i had back then because it's so hard to get it back right now even though i don't wonder about 'what could've been' anymore...i'm so glad that i'm here now...really...because when i show my feelings with my actions and my words, i try as hard as i can to mean my dearest and it's little challenging nowadays...
7. i am figuring out what i want to do with my life now...it's fuzzy and it's dreamy but it's lot better than not having any idea...i'm a dreamer...and i usually make my dreams come true...that's my ability, if you ask me.