few thoughts 103108

1. Roman Holiday is a such a good movie. 
2. Audrey Hepburn is always, ALWAYS, will be the hottest woman in my book. EVER. 
3. Gregory Peck is the swagger king then sometimes, he sounds WAAAAAAY TOO WHITE. Atticus was the illest, though
4. So I was really thinking about leaving the school for good. Possibly moving to U of Arizona since I have an acceptance letter and all. I've been thinking about transferring since last winter quarter with so many reasons behind it. I've had some amazing advices about that from so many people and although I said I was going to stay put...there was little bit of me that really wanted to take a hike and find a new place to start my endeavor. Even right before the departure to Rome, I wasn't sure that I was going to come back for my junior year. I was tired, I was fed up and honestly, I wasn't having it. Working in school was fun and it was the only time I can find peace in myself but other than that, everything was straight chaotic. safe to say, I couldn't take it anymore, I didn't want to...my senses are coming back though...and...I decided that I'm really coming back. I AM. 
5. I promise, no more hoopla about leaving and ish. I'm not going to leave the school or transfer. It's really final now. I won't ever think about leaving ever again. I'll leave when my school is over but I'm not going to leave without any diploma on my hand. It's not even about a diploma anymore, it's about me. I promise. I'm going to go back next January and I'll finish my program with those wonderful people I've met in my life. You guys are more than my peers or colleagues. You are my motivation, you are my biggest support, you are my inspiration and most importantly, you are my friends. I'm not going to leave you guys because I owe you guys so much. You know who you are. You always wait for me and always have my back. You respect me for who I am and giving me advices for what I can become. You always treat me like I'm a respectable human being and taught me how to be happy. You, You, You...you know who you are. All of you, without all of you guys...I don't see any reasons for me to even thinking about coming back to Seattle and finish the school with you guys but you guys were patient enough to invest your trust in me. When I come back, I gotta do the same for you guys. Kiri, Adrienne, Jennifer Annie, Lindsey, Steve, Ellen, Justan, Mike, Paige, Riain, Eric, Karen...all of you...and even those kids I'm with in Rome like Ben J, Serrah, Acacia, Ben W, Lilly and everyone else. I'm coming back because of you guys. I'm slowly understanding what it means to be happy and what it takes to be happy...it's all because of you guys and I can't thank you enough for it. I love all of you to death. See you in '09. 

a little bowl

twirl a tiny teaspoon with sugar drops from your finger tip

stroke those memories that want to die

a winter slumber gets just little tougher

when a raggedy blankets gets too soft

motorbikes running between my back and your feet

words from yesteryears always strand me

running down the stairs with a big balloon of hope

only to greet a giant needle, sharp

quick, this breath won't last long

all the residues smear on those tall walls

a maddening kiss i even dare to dream nowadays

since these silences around me command a death on my heart so loudly

"dating game"

2008

few thoughts 103008

1. Dear Mrs. Russell...I was delighted to hear your comment on Vatican by your lovely daughter and obviously, we think alike. Serrah didn't say anything before hand and in fact, me and Serrah went on the different route during the field trip because it was simply the fact that there were too many people in already too big of a place...you get the picture. Anyway, I would like to send out my appreciation to you, Mrs. Russell, for a such an outstanding mental connection between us. The telepathy between us is simply magical and these norms of society do not have a clue what they are talking about, usually. Maybe someday, we will have a chance to lie down on the floor of Sistine Chapel without those finely dressed yet pesky guards yelling at us and also those ignorant tourists flashing flashlights like they can't distinguish colors without any hint of lights on. I'll bring coffee and please bring your delicious cookies, if you don't mind...i love them. By the way, your daughter is doing just fine...I think you know that already. Love, your daughter's dearest friend (I hope), David. 
2. I am so sorry but I'm not that fun person to hang out with...you should've known
3. Last night was a lecture with a fine gentleman named Gordon Bowker...he was one of the founders of Starbucks and Red Hook Brewery. The lecture was pretty chilled and cool...he was not funny but amusing and very calm. I thought his loose nature was really what made him who he is now. He didn't really think too much before starting anything and he took failure and success just as equally; it's just part of life. One thing I got out of that lecture was that it's not the failure or success you dwell on but what you do with them afterwards that will make you golden. It was nice, it was chilled, it was entertaining and obviously, he was very kind old man who means no harm. Then...
4. There was a question time which was outrageously stupid. It was so stupid that a word 'stupid' should've been a compliment for that segment. It was unbelievable. So the guy, Gordon, has been lost touch with Starbucks since like mid-80s so there's good 15-16 years of gap that he missed out, this isn't the same guy who created a venti caramel frappucino and double shot can and decided to step down from the business like week ago. no, no, no...he only had six stores, all in Washington state, when he sold the company to that weasel (Howard, yes, I'm talking to you).  He even said it before he talked about his involvement with Starbucks that he's been out of connection with them for awhile. But people just decided to open a can of worm on him like as if he's the epitome of evil root in American capitalism. Somebody was asking whole Ethiopian farm situation with Starbucks that's only been in question for like last five years while some random lady screamed, 'I don't know what you guys are talking about!!!!! Can somebody explain to me what is going on?!!!', other person is asking some random stupid questions like, 'My son is 8 and he has a great business idea right now, what were you thinking when you were child?' and then there's a douchebag who loyally dared to the man and asked, 'why do you think that there's no Starbucks in Italy?'...I would punched his face and called the lecture off if I was Gordon, he kept it well for himself. 
5. Yes, aren't us Americans just so polite and well-educated?
6. I'll tell you exactly why there's no Starbucks in Italy. IT'S A DIFFERENT CULTURE IN ITALY WHEN IT COMES TO DRINKING A COFFEE! Italians never, NEVER, do a take out coffee. If you ever to come in a Italy, do not ever order a take out coffee because that means you are a tourist and you actually are deserved to be pick-pocketed. Italians always either sit on the table or stand front of the counters to drink coffee. Coffee in here is something you ENJOY, not something you must have because your lazy ass is 2 minutes away from being late to work and you still haven't woke up from a keg swimming the night before. A barista from the cafe I often go to told me it is actually little insulting to order a coffee and expect it to be a take out. And also, no one wants to spend 2 euros for a tall burnt-roasted drip coffee. You could get the nicer and waaaaaaay more flavorful coffee for a half of the price. Beat that. 
7. I voted, for the first time ever. I finally felt like I'm an American...like...about 2 minutes. Yes, I'm still naturalized. Oh, well. 

few thoughts 102908

1. i like to talk politics, in a 'by-partisan' way...other than that, stay the 'f' off. elephants, donkeys, decepticons, megatrons, National Leagues, American Leagues, AFC, NFC, Western Conference, Eastern Conference...ish really don't matter...generalization is for lazy bums
2. on the other hand, our gubernatorial election is a giant mess...either way you look at it
3. only 'poll' i like is one that's being used as a tool of dancing...other than that, all the other polls are irrelevant
4. yesterday, our class went to Vatican. I didn't know how close Vatican was from my apartment, it was like, 'I could do my morning run to Vatican every morning', close. Rafael, Caravaggio, Michelangelo...everything...you know the deal...Vatican is pretty special place, you know. Anyway, I went to Sistine Chapel, which was amazing but little overwhelming at the same time. Sistine Chapel was lot smaller than I thought...mainly due to the fact that the Michelangelo's ceiling paintings were gigantic thus, automatically assuming that the place that carries would be big but it wasn't because a keyword here is 'CHAPEL' but the paintings were amazing despite the fact that there were so many tourists and every now and then the museum guards be yelling at dudes to not to take picture or quite down...it was little hectic but seeing Michelangleo's work up front was something special. Yes, your boy saw it and I'm taking one for the team! Although, I really would wish I could lie down on the floor and watch the whole painting up in the ceiling, THAT would be really cool. 
5. I was too tired and too busy so I canceled my meeting with Pope, I'm sure he'd understand...I'm a busy guy. I got a place to go and moves to make, son! that's exactly what I told him. He really wanted to make that bingo night happen but I had to say sorry to the man, I'm already going hell anyway...so I didn't it would matter anyway...
6. I'm lot cooler than all of you kids because I also got to see Rafael's 'The School of Athens'. I feel very philosophically enlightened right now. Bring Bertrand Russell and Foucault...I'll hang with those people...
7. after the museum trip, a thunderstorm decided to show up. it was INSANE!! it was pouring rain and loud thunderstorms and everything. made the weather lot cooler which I really enjoyed and of course, I went outside and decided to jump around in puddles of water...making splashes and getting wet and all that. it was awesome. but then I totally forgot to get my laundry out of drying rack which is nicely placed in OUT-FRIGGIN'-SIDE of our apartment on the balcony. that's not awesome. it was a good day and i slept like a baby. 
8. i bought a box of 'bran flakes' from the grocery store that i go often and it made want to go back home and grab a box of Wheaties and come right back. one really hilarious thing about this cereal box though, there are no athletes posing front of the box but it has a 'preparation guide' to eat a bowl of cereal, in like 9 different language...beat that!!!!!!!! IMO thuogh, if you HAVE TO read the guide to eat a cereal bowl, you really don't deserve to eat a bowl of cereal.  

longing in the rain

I love you, like still

because these raindrops won't wash away my old diaries

but

not as much as you

love me...

yours truly...

much thanx to Mr. DesPeaux and Ms. Knight

few thoughts 102808

1. Rebecca, you are my inspiration...how can I not love you?! Yes, "It's only a start". Why do you say such nice things to me and means it to your dearest? You just gave me the biggest advise and encouragement so far in Rome and I don't think no one will ever top it. IT'S ONLY A START. 
2. talked to my brother for the first time since I came here. it was good to hear his voice...i've been pretty consistent with talking to my parents but my brother was always AWOL but today, i got a hold of him and it was good. looks like he's doing just fine and i was really relieve that everybody is doing just fine. it's always in back of my mind, my family...it always is, i can't help it but i'm glad my brother is doing good, only if he could go to school more consistently, it would be lot better but i can't complain. no matter how much we butt heads back home, my brother is my dude...that's just the fact. 
3. i want to make you feel really happy
4. so...it's little tingly inside right now with me...or is it?
5. why is it like still 80 degrees? yes! I AM COMPLAINING!
6. so this thing that used to bother me...it doesn't bother me like it used to...at least it doesn't destroy me...because i figured out what i'm really missing...i only miss those times and memories within. nothing else i miss more than that...i really don't...only problem is that memories are something you don't see, you have other things that construct your memories and feelings, like places or a person. i only miss those feelings that i had at that time and it's not about the place or the person, it just happens to be that those feelings and memories directed to that place and that person...it could've been anywhere and anyone...i only miss the feelings i had back then because it's so hard to get it back right now even though i don't wonder about 'what could've been' anymore...i'm so glad that i'm here now...really...because when i show my feelings with my actions and my words, i try as hard as i can to mean my dearest and it's little challenging nowadays...
7. i am figuring out what i want to do with my life now...it's fuzzy and it's dreamy but it's lot better than not having any idea...i'm a dreamer...and i usually make my dreams come true...that's my ability, if you ask me.  

few thoughts 102708

1. daylight savings time is over, I gained one hour but lost an hour of sunshine...eh...
2. take it easy, David, take it easy...
3. so this weekend was little bit chilled weekend, went to the museum by the Colosseum to see the greatest of all time, Pablo f'in Picasso. It was a breath-taking, no, sucks-all-the-air-out-of-my-atmosphere type of experience. For last couple days, I've been seeing Basquiat, Caravaggio, Picasso and plan to see Bruno Munari and Bill Viola, this is quite an artistic ride that I'm having right now...it's great. So going back to Picasso's exhibition, it was insane to look at some of the paintings that I only saw them from art history books especially, I got to see his 'Studio' piece, which really made my day. One of more interesting works in that exhibition, to me, was his letters to his dearest friend and colleague, Jean Cocteau. Picasso often beautifully sketches his letter paper and rights a simple letter to Jean and that really was an inspiring moment because of what I wanted to do personally with my card making project. everyday is just tad bit more refreshing than the day before in here. 
4. on the other hand, some people just don't know what the 'etiquette' means. WTF. 
5. sometimes, i feel as though i am not right for this...i do everything that i can to show what i am capable of but i don't 1000 different names of 'artists', instead, i remember names of rappers and basketball players. i don't read all the 'must-read' books that is supposed to enlighten you, i read classics and fashion magazines. i have my favorites but i don't follow 'art scenes'. i don't worship Damian Hirst, instead, i worship Jay-Z. i watch music videos that keep on playing over and over then watch sportscenter. that's what i do. i can't name you 1000 different artists, lecture you about different theories and philosophies because all i can say is either, 'me likey' or 'that's wack'...that's all i can do. i can't sit back with my hand resting under my chin and tell you what the lines supposed to mean and what the colors supposed to say. honestly, i like the half of the stuff i've seen in the museum then other half i've seen was straight trash no matter how big they are, small they are or whatever. i never grew up with any art around me, instead, i had parents who bust their asses to put a food on a table by working before the sun comes up and come back home when moon is shining. i don't party, i don't do drugs, i don't smoke, i don't even drink, i don't quote things from every damn book i read or movies i've saw; i only vaguely remember them and use them as my thin inspirations,  i only dance every now and then even though i can dance better than half of you dudes. i read poems, write rhymes, run couple miles at least 4 days a week, take random pictures of street, make cards, write letters, read fashion magazine, i enjoy top 40 hits and trashy rap music that you keep saying it's c away from being crap, highly into name brands, i like flowers and plants, i collect baseball caps and sneakers, profusely drink coffees and energy drinks, and last but not at least, i can't bullshit at all. I'm sorry but I'm just trying to be the most honest and sincere dude to ever put this thing on the paper. that's all i'm trying to do. 
6. somebody thought i was Republican...not that i'm angry about it (i thought it was quite amusing actually) but i talk in lingo, listen to rap music and wrote a petition for Mumia Abu Jamal way back when...i don't think even those senile elephants wants a vote from a rice-o-roni. besides, my style is way too nice for those fashion famines, for real. Barack is that son with some swagger, yo. 
7. Thank you, T and your Bermuda triangle...you made my time in here that much better...your works always brings me down to the happiest tears. looking at your works under the starry Roman night was the most comforting moment I've had so far. thank you so much, T, you've been my greatest hero since I was 9.  
8. Romania is a great country, that's all I gotta say.  

small pasts from quick seconds

Italy 1: USA 0

I'll jaywalk naked for this

few thoughts 102608

1. everything is just wonderful, thank you
2. everything is just so hot, hate you
3. yesterday was awesome, Bob cooked an insanely delicious dinner that was consisted of following: a giant steak with a salt & pepper seasoning with mushrooms, a beet salad with vinegar dressing and sauteed bell peppers. Some of the girls came over and we listened to Amos Lee and Ben Harper then watched odd selections of German cable TV and couple episodes of 'The Office', it was a good day.
   
4. couple days ago, the entire class went to the Capitoline Museum and I was astonished not only by the scale of museum but Italians' dedication towards to restore and preserving their culture. I knew about how big restoration is in Italy and especially places like Florence but I didn't really understand how big it was until I went to this museum. It was pleasantly shocking and inspiring. I asked Lucy, our lovely and amazing professor, about this and restoration is very big in Italy, more than you can imagine. They have a such a good system in terms of school and even getting all the funding for it and it really made me to think about what it means to 'own' a culture. anybody can claim how long they have been existed and what kind of cultures they have preserved over all these years but how are you going to prove it? how are you going to show generations down the road if not a thing is available for you to teach them about their identity? culture and nature are two very similar things, you simply borrow them from future generations so you can give them back in a best shape you can give them back. The museum's collection was so overwhelming and I probably will forget lot of things that I saw that day in that place but the lesson that I took away from that place will never go away...it was a humbling experience. Really made me think about my responsibility not only as an aspiring artist but as a culture respecting citizen.
   
5. I miss some serious fitteds from back home, real talk
6. whatever I do, it always starts from me. it's not that I'm being egotistical but that's just a matter of fact. nothing can be happy around me if i can't be happy about myself. although i still freaking about meeting people here and there and always over analyzing things i've been better. i've been missing lot of things back home and was emotionally spent just a little bit but i can't complain right now, i shouldn't because this is the type of opportunity that i've always wanted; an opportunity to take a time off for myself. being happy is such a hard thing to do for me but i'm getting better at it. at times, there will be a time where things from back home that would pop up and i decided to not to try so hard to forget about it even though the reason i wanted to come Rome so bad was to get rid of those thoughts and feelings within. it's those thoughts and musings that always rip me apart and i don't want to let that happen, at least when i'm here. i'm having a great time here even though things can get little tough here and there but that's just the life. i'm so blessed that i'm here right now because it's been giving me so many ideas about what i want to do with what i'm doing right now. all i'm thinking right now is to give back to those people who loves me. ever since i had my camera, i've been getting so much love from everywhere, and i need to figure out how to get back to these people. i have to give back because i've gotten so much from everybody around me. i am with great people right here that teaches me how to love this life and i have great people back home who always love me for who i am.
   
7. I want to cause a trouble so that Lamborghini Gallardo police car can pull up on me.
   

I miss...

B/W darkroom in art building

oatmeal raisin cookies at Cafe Solstice

my car even though I love walking

loud music

going to gym every morning

mom's cooking

dad's cooking

Kiri's words

Adrienne's nerdiness (c'mon, you know you are. LOL) 

Riain's pure awesomeness 

Eric's earthy vibe

Paige's trash talk (I know I got Lilly here but...) 

Lindsey's dance (I'm waiting for the part II when I get back!) 

Kayleigh's circus

Steve's worries 

Karen's randomness

Mike's spontainiety

Jennifer's seriousness  

Annie's support

Liz' greetings 

The "Susan Robb"

Gap

Nike 

My new era collections

My CD collections

Au Lait at Parnassus 

really good hiphop 

Uwajimaya

Mayumi sensei

Gatorade Fierce (grape flavor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) 

Hawaiian Punch 

a bucket of greasy fried chicken 

a big American style breakfast (son, I need that Denver omelette) 

"The Office"

ESPN

basketball court 

my shoes that are still in box somewhere in my room...(hello Nikes) 

GQ magazine

QFC at 3 in the morning

Caffe Vita 

a big kitchen

a boxing gym

big burgers and steak fries

poetry books

a bowl of clam chowders

your love and support

hugs 

Wu-Tang Clan

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

 

and 

YOU...I MISS YOU...ALL OF YOU, THE MOST...

uhhuh

few thoughts 102408

made a flower by the door

while cups are half full and shivered on the floor

then dropped some candy by stone

see if sugars can sweeten your calendar on your next one

rumbling anthems on my ears

tugging on cozy bears through all these years

they get dirty and scrunchy at time

but whatever I do, I made sure that those days would rhyme

more I miss you, less I love you

more I think of you, less I want you

since you were just in between numbers

snuck a little smile then lights flew in covers

these tears don't mean much

because it's not for you to clutch

nor never it will ever drop on to your heart

since you already saw me tearing apart, comtemplating to depart

we never held onto any string in between

a retired monologue of mine came undressed but never to be seen

i can only embrace the shy thoughts that used to fill up my calendar

it's just that you happened to come play in my slumber  

few thoughts 102308

1. last night was big night for Rome as Rome's premier soccer squad, AS Roma, went head to head against the fine boys in blue from Stamford Bridge, Chelsea, in a UEFA Champions League match. AS Roma had to get this game because for one, they are in bit of slump since last weekend's debacle against Inter Milan (in which they lost the game by giving up 4 goals at Roma's home) and secondly, their standing in the Champions' League is not safe to make it to the next round. So...
2. They choked big time and lost. It was only 1-0 game but they allowed too many chances and looked like it's long way for them to bounce back from last week's defeat against Inter. It wasn't too great to watch although it was nationally televised. Referee was REALLY BAD. Roma never seemed to find their term during the game and played without no intensity or aggressiveness. It was little dull but what can I say, it was Chelsea playing against Roma, two teams that never know a thing about word 'excitement'. One thing that was surprisingly delightful though, the area where my apartment is at, Campo Di Fiori, was absolutely silent while the game was on. The area attracts many tourists and young kids because of restaurants, cafes, and bars but last night, dead silent. Welcome to Europe, I guess.
3. Then they all came out of wood work after the game and got really drunk. Some of them dudes were singing until like 4...and it's only Wednesday, damnit.
4. I'm kinda happy and that's just perfect.
5. I never knew how fun it is to draw...I have drawing class as part of our Rome program and I have to say I didn't know what to make of it when I heard first time that I will be drawing in class. Last time I really drew with capital D was when I was in kindergarten with crayons and that was about it. Although, I've been a writer and many of my works were based on graffiti art, I never 'drew' anything. I'm no Monet here right now but it's really fun to draw. It's a different type of thinking from photo or even writing...I'll always stick to my basis which is photo and writing but this drawing thing is really something else. I don't know it already changed me immediately and I don't expect that to happen anytime soon but one thing for sure is that my level of exuberance and spontaneity are growing little by little. I can feel it! Moreover, having Lucy on my side as a drawing teacher is just purely awesome because no matter how bad I draw, she always picks up a little strength that's behind everyone's drawing encourages to do more. I really love her about that. I have just a tad bit of confidence with me in drawing but no, you won't see my drawing anytime soon...or maybe...
6. I probably should think about my traveling plan after my program is over then again, oh well.
7. Aiyyo, I found a new medium!!! "CARD MAKING", motherfunkers. Hallmark ain't got ish on me!!!!!!!!!
8. I'm dancing, writing, eating fruits, taking pictures and missing all the lovely souls I have around me...my life cannot be more perfect than this right now.
9. I'm also drinking some pineapple juice, delicious.

black no. 14

for how many days the burnt man
understand the grave's depth and the god's plan?
flippin' through the scripture
vocabulary with my soul, let it be the sculpture
Michaelangelo with Nikki Giovanni, you don't know what entertains me
peep the bottle because this is the water
never to drain it 'cuz you write this without a letter
the travelin' man's desire to yell out fire
the shootout, the bang 'em kids out on the live wire
damning out throats, cuttin' off the liar
on the cold stair, though, you see the truth standin' higher
passin' on bullets, marchin' down gridiron with sharp cleats
40 yard dashin', while big dummy liners bobbin' behind beats
heart of the lion stiff armin' grizzly bears like Barry Sanders
famed stars runnin' petrified and models still high-drollin'
but raindrops in December might just come pourin'
Sleepin' giant come crawlin', crushin' on cerebellums that stayed boring
chocked on two shotty or more even with my warrant
the ice storm, smashin' dirt geniuses, my rhymes amplifies and roarin'

few thoughts 102208

1. I feel the cold morning, that's good but along with that I'm now on annual Thera-Flu diet all over again...this year, it's little earlier than usual. Nevertheless, cold morning is definitely appreciated. Also, cold morning means...time to look for sweaters. Benetton and Zara, watch out.
   
2. I FOUND A GYM! whoo-hoo!
   
3. Ventaglio and Suppli are my favorite Italian words...they are little snacks but they are so good, I even like them names...no, I won't name my children Ventaglio nor Suppli.
   
4. 2 more days until my Italian classes to be over. I don't know what to feel about that, honestly...I wish to have the Italian classes little longer because I think 2 1/2 weeks of learning of foreign language is little ridiculous. Although our teacher, Michela, was little too aggressive at times, I will miss that lady. I won't miss waking up early in the morning...oh wait, I always wake up early in the morning...
5. I've been running in the morning even though my recent cold has been put me on the bed last couple days. I've never ran on the street, only on the treadmill, and it's quite different. I've picked up on running couple years back and ever since then I try to do it ever so often because running always provided me a fountain of ideas that seems to pop up every now and then. It's sort of strange how it works because your body is keeps on moving but it really feels like your mind is meditating and especially in this new city, I really feel the new sense of inspiration coming blasting through me, it's quite lovely. Just having to enjoy a quite Rome is also a plus, too. Had I brought my ipod shuffle, it could've been tad bit better but running laps of Piazza Navona and along the river of Trastaverie are to die for. Really.
   
6. I went to Jean-Michel Basquiat exhibition yesterday and it was purely awesome. Let's leave it at that because if I start to talk about it, it will take more than weeks. I am going back to that exhibition couple more times before my departure, for sure. Yes, I love him that much and he is that good. Inspirations!!!!
   
7. If you can't connect with people, no one will connect to you. Not because they hate you but because they have no idea what you are going through. I want to connect with people because my existence won't mean a thing if there's no connection between me and this world. No 'art world', no 'real world', no 'whatever world' but just world around me. I don't want to think about how other people going to see me as because I will be as sincere and warm as possible since that's just who I am.
   

few thoughts 102108

1. so it's been almost a month since I got here? I thought it was just couple days...
2. art is never a hard thing. life with an art, though, that's kinda hard
3. watched the movie last night at the girl's house...it was "Life is Beautiful" starring "THE" Roberto Benigni. Although it was so much different from many holocaust films I've watched I could not stop myself from crying, actually this movie was the most saddest of all even though comedic element in the movie was pure genius...it was a heart wrenching movie. Last thirty minutes were just insanely sad...however, it was so awesome since the movie was shot in Arezzo and Arezzo was part of our field trip itinerary. It was weird but super awesome to recognize some of the scene from the movie and yelling out, "I WAS THERE, TOO!!!!" 
4. BTW, Tony, Ben and I straight up murdered the pot of gumbo...it was the hottest cooking event of this year. Word. 
5. I snatched a sweet Elmo sweatshirts from a flea market below my apartment for two euros, pictures are coming up soon. I make it look even cuter...that's just who I am...what more can I say...you never seen a dude this good for this long... 
6. If you ask me if I'm ready, I will say no but if you ask me if I want to do this...you don't have to blurt the word out, I'm already there. 
7. You know what I want? I want my words to carry sincerity and my actions to show the honesty...I'm working on it... 

few thoughts 102008

I wonder where it all started with this...

I don't feel these eyes like you do, it's different with me...you see

what used to inspire me or what used to spark me

they dazzle underneath a toasty afternoon

but all the cold cords strum through my pupil

you know, ever since last March

you tell me that I ran away

I dispute and say, I escaped

but it's same all around...day and day out

it's just in different skin

different lights

different voices

but same echoes...

speechless souls around me

and I want to connect with them

but it's never happening

like it's never happened

where am I going, you wonder

where am I going, I wonder

I wish you were here

but I'm so glad that you are not here

I wish you were here

and I cry every night that you are not here

sky is empty while water runs through my heart

and dam-ful of sorrow flies up the sky while I call you a name

soak a cry then give and go

blow birthday candle or two if time's right

because you've never done it before

but no matter what, 

don't scream the name that never returns

I'm not a changed man

but this is a changed time...

it is and so it is...

"for all you visual kids..."

[I love you all no matter what]

Gennaro Gattuso edition Powerade...

like the player himself

'NASTY'

and I wonder why I'm not really a fan of this guy...

few thoughts 101908

1. so the life experience vol. 1 - I got scammed by group of Italians...I was tourist enough to get fooled by couple of dudes and ante up 30 euros at Spanish Steps...good thing was that was only money I had with me at that time, they were trying to rob me for 50...I'm okay...it's just money, I don't worry about it much but it wasn't certainly not the type of Sunday I was looking forward to...I'm okay, seriously
   
2. went window shopping...and it's amazing that some of the department stores are already getting ready for Christmas...I guess it's pretty big in here, too
   
3. it's still like 80 degrees here, WTF
   
4. so I had my first crit last Friday (gasp!)...it was long as hell (like 6 hrs marathon)...and I thought I was in Jerry Lewis' labor day telethon...no...but it was good. Seriously though, after having a class with Susan, I feel like I'm indestructible with criticism. It was a good nature and fun crit... and as usual, no one knows what I'm doing... it just me talking, talking, talking, talking and talking...you know, the usual
   
5. am I growing up? am I? really?
   
6. Asics on my mind...it won't leave me!!!!!! OMG...and now all the stores are stocking sweaters, devils are all around me!!! 
   
7. I wish I was lot more friendly than now...I wish I was...I wish I could talk to somebody, honestly...
   

as you can see...

this is what I signed up for...

thanks, Ms. Rauen and your lovely daisy chain

thanks, Cliff and your lovely photo

few thoughts 101508

1. Hello, Mrs. Russell...I loved your cookies way back when and no, I won't block you...because one, I rarely block anybody, two, I really don't know how to block a person and lastly, your daughter is a very nice person. I don't do that. hope you have a great day. Sincerely, David.  
   
2. little under the weather, little bit of homesick, it's all good though...
   
3. last couple days were little rough...not that it was devastating or whatnot but it was just little overwhelming. i wasn't really feeling it emotionally and I was wondering and thinking too much about...well, nothing. must be the autumn again...it's that time of the year. it's kinda scary for me to meet people or see people on the regular basis but i'm working on how to do it better. i need to stop overanalyze things. i really do...it's been draining just a little bit both physically and emotionally but i just want to take it one day at a time and always hope for the best on the next day...that's all I gotta do and that's all that I can do. really. 
   
4. it can get little lonely up in here though but i've been lonely even when i was in Seattle, it's a personal thing...
5. still writing like a maniac, I love it. I've been writing like this since I was in high school and my voice became lot more gentle than back then...although, i still cuss...I'm sorry, mom.
6. yesterday was Tim Roda's lecture on his work and whatnot...it was really good. although people who seen him before said it was same repertoire but to me, it was the first time and it was really good. hear him talk about his family and the history behind it then talking about his path as an 'artist' was really refreshing and it couldn't come in perfect time because i just got myself two rejection letters earlier that day and it was not a good day at all but Tim kinda made me feel better little bit. Thanks, dude. 
7. you ask me why I do this, I'll tell you exactly why..."...because I want to give back and I don't ever want to disappear..." holla at me, damnit.  

few thoughts 101408

1. Ben, Tony, Serrah and I went to this little exclusive sneaker shop (!!!!!!!!!!!x1000000) near by our apartment last night. The name of store is 'I Love Tokyo' (Italians are deeply fond of something French or Japanese and conversely, Japanese are also deeply fond of 'anything' that are Italian...) and let's just say...I was fighting devil the whole time I was there. If I could, I would've bought entire 2 racks that were draped (yes, 'draped) in Asics and Reebok pumps. Europe may never get Nikes like Americans do but European Asics are so sick. I can't talk about this anymore or blood will shoot out of my brain...yes, it was that tempting and stressing. Shoes were so lovely, though...I miss my Nikes
   
2. Mom, you can't call me 6 in the morning...but I still love you. Oh, and seriously...you don't have to yell mom...international calls aren't fuzzy anymore...but really, I really love you mom, XOXO...your son, David
   
3. people can be really immature sometimes...
4. first crit. coming up. not really shaken up. just bring it.
   
5. being lazy also can provide you with a great source of creativity. trust me on that. I've been writing a lot and been thinking a lot. it may be just random thinking and petty journal entry off the dome but it makes me kind of filter out things that I don't want to have it in me. it's really great.
   
6. how many times have I ever worried about just myself? none...not until I got here. it's really good and blessing to just worry about myself and my work but nothing else. this opportunity won't last long and I know that so I have to make it worth sometime by the end. this is not a wish, this not a hope, this is my goal...
7. love is the hardest thing that comes in a sweetest package that often times people just pass on by...
   

'aiyyo'

few thoughts 101308

1. [mhmbuono fortuna]...that will be the theme.
2. Can somebody please hook me up with new T.I. CD? I need a hit like right now and I can't find that ish in Rome. Gabriella Cilmi, on the other hand, HAWT to DEF.
   
3. Is it so wrong to love Katy Perry? WHY? I want to taste cherry chapstick, too!!!
4. Yesterday was awesome because I didn't do anything at all. It was one of those lazy sunday that I haven't had for long time. I caught up all my jet lags and missed sleeps yesterday. It was like super awesome. I read books for hours, wrote journals for hours and slept for hours...I can't complain.
5. I've been asking myself about important things in life and how should I go about to get them but you really can't get them, you have to earn them and make sure you are following the right trail. Just be honest. I love you, forever and ever. This 'you' is not a certain person, it used to be but not anymore. But it's you. You know. YOU.
   
6. Giving up on a person and giving up on a feeling are two totally different thing. I've done the first one but I'll never do the second one. You don't ever move on, you just walk pass by. That's all you can do and that's all you gotta do.
   
7. I am wearing sleeveless shirts and capri pants...yes, I know it's middle of October.
8. I am still in needs of finding a gym...although I finally went jogging on Saturday.
9. 'Andy Bernard never loses a contest. Either he wins it or he quits it'. Golden.
   

Arezzo, Assisi, Bologna...

disposable camera
no photoshop added

with love,

dizzle

aiyyo

Hi from Dizzle, To Kiri

just like I promised....

few thoughts 101208

1. I am growing a beard now...
2. I guess I can draw...who would've known...
3. yeah, Serrah...that girl did look like a little skank and I know that but I had to glance at her couple times, what can I say...
4. Sometimes...I feel like I am in little island all by myself. My words bounces off from the wall and comes back to me for some weird reason. It's been better since I left but I don't know what to feel sometimes about me or everything around my reality. I sometimes feel like I am pushing people away from me when I really want to draw them in. I don't know...maybe I'm trying just too damn hard but I just want people to understand who I am and this is who I am. I really don't want to be a phony and I am going to keep working towards to my goal which is to become a person who's the most honest and sincere as possible. I don't care if that means I will have to get thousand blisters on my feet, failing at many things and listening to some jackasses...I'll be that kid and I ain't letting anyone to stopping it. I don't care if I am just 'good' or 'nice' or 'sweet'...that's just who I am and if someone can't stomach that then just let it be. I ain't missing out nothing. It's probably you...
   
5. If anything that keeps me going...it's the idea of 'love'...I wanted to give up on it and I sometimes still want to give up on it but I am starting to realize that I can't give up on this anymore. Giving up on a person and giving up on love are two totally different thing. I don't care anymore, I won't give up on love anymore...
6. seeing John Legend and The Cure in Rome is awesome but see them for free? Trust me on that

few thoughts 100908

1. so the italian class started about 2 days ago and I have no idea what I am doing but having no idea is part of learning. I think. My instructor, Michela, is little too passionate with her teaching but makes it pretty fun. I think she studied music somewhere because every time she breaks down the accent she does this gesture that reminds me of a conductor in orchestra. Pretty amusing stuff.
2. Life is what you make it. Trust me.
3. Fruits are delicious.
4. I didn't know I could draw but thanks Lucy.
5. Lucy is just such an amazing person. not just as a professor but she's already a great mentor for me right now. Her knowledge, her exubrance and her vibrance...everything about her is just enchanting and I cannot be more honor to have her teach me this quarter. she's just so amazing
6. sometimes, I think...I am here to fill in the blank. I wonder what people are doing in this little spaces. I want to wonder around without fearing anything. I don't know...it's little hard at times. I do not know where my feet would go although I don't care as much. I fear less than I used to but I still tumble with a million thoughts behind my back. I wonder where all of these freckles of my lives would end up. I may know why am I here and what to do but sometimes, it's always a question and never an answer. But I guess removing myself from a comfort zone is already daring. Comfort zone...it's kinda overrated, when I think about it now. Nevertheless, I feel my wounds are healing up...it's a good thing.
7. You should get some postcards soon...real talk.

...cobalt no. 1

You were the right thing, the way you removed me.
Stepping gingerly on the morning of a bleak fresco
I flew to west in tears and silence that used to deaf me
until I hit the corner to plug a speaker - "pronto".

Dreaming of a big tree while the lightening strikes beneath me.
Torn. No/t fantasy. Ill. N/ot dreams. Calming dirts.
Were you the destiny I rejected or is it just always me?
Blowing away shallow vocabs that won't even graze your plaid skirts.

It's empty where you left me.
Blame. No. You weren't even turning a door knob.
Still. I want to interrupt clocks and calendars but they move me
Remotely/ My heart is your cigarette butt with a million head bob

Dreams in a blue sweater with 10 fingers echo through me
.
.
.

few thoughts 10072008

1. Field trip. Over. Blisters. Band-Aids. 
2. and...APARTMENTS!
3. so yesterday was the first night with my new APT for two months. First impression: SUCKS. No, I take it back. It's actually not too bad. No place is like home, true and I have to live with 8 other boys (because I really wanted about 2-3 people in my APT) but we are adults, damnit, and we are going to deal with it! I mean, it's way much better than living on the street and sleeping on the cardboard box. I don't want to complain about my apartment because it's actually not too bad and I'm in great place right now in Rome so I shouldn't complain about things or I'll be sound like an ungrateful snob. Balcony is sooooooo beautiful because I can see the whole plaza right front of my apartment, which by the way, has a great market during the morning. Also, underneath my apartment there's a cafe that makes a super velvety and tasty cappuccino for Euro a cup...made by cute Romanian baristas (they are twin sisters, even), I must say. Yes, I am not complaining.   
4. and my roomies are tight. Tony P and Ben J are that dudes!
5. I got the bed next to balcony. Yes, Kiri, I already took some picture. 
6. Field trip was sooooo great. Bologna was my absolute favorite place. I am going back when the quarter is over. The place was dirty but very beautiful as well. Insanely cheap food, a rich history (some painful), and people were so great. Very chilled but heart-warming. I thought I was in Mid-West, only better!
7.  Sometimes, I wish that someone was here with me right now then again, I'm so glad that someone is not in my vicinity right now. I'm soaking up all the new lights (and some stale air, unfortunately), it's so beautiful and I am so happy for the fact that I'm becoming little bit more careless than I used to. 
8. All summer, I was working on my own project (which is just shooting an ass-load of B/W pictures and crashing myself in a darkroom) and just entering different contest, submissions and that type of stuff. Guess what????!!! I got one of the spot for the all the thousand submissions I've entered. I just found out that I am one of the finalists for the Bellevue Ballet Center photo contest and they will show my picture on 11th during their performance and if I get lucky, I might win some cash but I'm just so happy that I got in. Although, 500 dollars sound really nice. Yes, you really should congratulate me.  
9. So Cubs got swept, how? WTF...To the Dodgers?

few thoughts 10032008

1. aiyyo...it's already october now?
2. We've been on 5 day field trip right now that took us to bunch of different places...we are in this place called Arezzo right now. We went to Umbria and also...Assisi which was a great, great place. I am so much in love with this place already. Nevertheless, I realize that I am so spoiled by Seattle. No place has parks and weather like 206 and I am speaking the truth.
3. Miguel Rothchild, look it up
4. Everybody is getting little sick because of all the travels but I am the man of steel. Nothing can break me, for real.
5. mistakes are what makes me so great because I love them just as equally as my success. nothing can be complete without few set backs and I've had many. Actually, I feel like I am already having couple but differences from then and now is that I can finally let it go rather than have them thrashing my brain. I have a strong belief that I am surrounded by a great, great group of people in here and even in back home. I told you I am trying to learn to love.
6. 'It will all make sense one day', I am starting to get it now.
7. mmm...cute people...in the bus, out of the bus, everywhere. appreciate!
8. I feel like I want to dance again, seriously.
9. Funny how my heart talks. When I touched down Rome, I was so drained and fatigued emotionally. Although, I had a little hope and a little faith in me. It's still dry and I am so thirsty that sometimes it feels like it will break me anytime, I am not so sad anymore. No, not anymore. It's not about 'getting it', rather, it's about 'giving it'. I don't have much but I want to give what I have. No matter who you are. I want to love even if I am not ready because now, I simply don't care. I just want to be so honest and sincere. Enough with mind games, enough with generalizations, enough with over analyzing...enough with all of that. I want to be fearless so I can greet all of great people around me with a big smile. Wait for me because I really want to show you guys something great, I will work on it. HARD.
10. Ben is here!!! YAY!!! We'll talk about this later.
11. Halls!!!