few thoughts 09302008

1. Lilly is here! It finally feels like I am going to have a quarter here. All the people are coming out of the woodwork and yeah...I am actually here to do some school work. I am going to do just fine.
2. Finally! I had more than 4 hours of sleep. Two nights in a row! Super awesome
3. I still want some fried chicken. Although fruits in here are scrumptious! Air is still really bad. Pacific NW FTW.
4. Son, I wish I had 700 million dollars
5. my brother's e-mail made me feel lot better, I have to admit that I was freaking out just a little bit but it's good to know they are doing just fine. Oh, I love them so much.
6. I miss so many people right now although nothing makes me so sad these days. Days are lovely in here and I am trying to enjoy every minute of it. Sure, there are times where something just hits you in the chest and you don't know what to do with it but I like the fact that I don't have to care as much as I used to. No one in this place really knows me and that allows me to really let me be who I am. I miss people back home like EVERYBODY. But I know for sure that once I get back, it will be golden. This is a struggle but I see the blessing within. Sure I cry but I smile lot more these days. Although hot weather gives me some cringes.
7. I am trying so hard to not to shop and I am dead serious about. Damnit, I am in such a wrong place for it. They have men's sweaters -and some really nice looking jeans and wool beanies, too!!!!! - at Benetton!!!! And do not even get me started on Zara. I am fighting with devil everyday in this place. Oh, wow.

few thoughts 09292008

1. The coolness of Italians finally came to its truest form last night as I discovered this grocery store that sells all of following: milk, bread, roasted chickens, salads, chocolates, allergy medicines, cough drops, FLAT SCREEN TVs, PSPs, apple pies, and BICYCLES. Although they sell some nasty cake. Shame on you, Italy and your cream fillings (the 'cream filling' in the cake actually stung my mouth like...um...toothpaste)
2. inside joke of the day: wrap a bacon around it
3. I really like walking...wondering isn't too bad, either. Life is like a big maze, anyway.
4. Europeans have really bad sense of musical taste but good thing is at least they are honest about it...Europeans rarely have their 'a guilty pleasure provided by ipod' moment.
5. Tell me about all the culture shock but I realize this every time when I'm out in the foreign country (including Canada) but White people (Americans) are the most craziest people in the world.
6. It is so awesome to just think about me and nothing else. Not that I don't care about anybody or anything around me but I find myself care about myself first than anything else around me. How I want to position my internal self...I ask myself this everyday, 'What do you want for your life and what are you going to do about it?'. Loneliness used to be a sign of desolation and it still maybe is but in this wide open space, loneliness is a freedom. It may leave me wondering and even empty at times but it does not agonize me anymore, at least not for now for sure. It is amazing what the new place do to you. I don't even trying to fit into this world but I let myself just float around this atmosphere. While I am doing that, I see those things I left behind dissolving itself to a distant past. It used to hurt me and it used to beat me up so bad but it's not as bad as before now; I don't lose my sleep over it. Sure, I think about it but it doesn't mean I'd want to stab my heart and soul for it. NO, NOT ANYMORE. Confidence is the next thing I need to work on, however.
7. Old Polish couple doing calisthenics on 6 o'clock in the morning, a dude's cell phone with a low battery beeping, a bunk bed that will take your life away, dudes are harmonizing their snorrings, and yes, a French couple having sex -twice- and I thought the all the way it was a jet lag.
8. 'fitting in' and 'settling' are two of most overrated things in the world. Problem is WE ALL WANT IT. I want it, too.
9. Oh my god, flashback...stop it. Seriously.

few thoughts 09282008

1. I really want some fried chicken. Meanwhile, I have not gone to Mickey D's since my arrival. McRoyal sounds pretty interesting though. Apparently you could chose salad instead of fries for your meal. They even have curly fries but not onion rings. DAMNIT.
2. Local friends FTW! Cute ones are even better.
3. Food is good, I told you that...coffee is even better.
4. Air is reaaaaallllly bad.
5. I cannot believe that I've went on with my life without TV for like 3 days and feel absolutely fine about it.
6. According to John McCain, I am 3 inch taller than North Koreans
7. Seriously, Italians drive hot wheels and tonka trucks.
8. I need to stop respond a question in Japanese and asking questions in Spanish. I also need to stop saying 'For Favor' or 'Como ce dice in Italiano'. WTF.
9. 3 things I miss already: 7-eleven hot dogs (shut the F!"$ up before you wanna say anything about it), Cheesecakes, mom's cooking.
10. Shawn Kemp is also in Rome, you should know that....yes, that Shawn Kemp

few thoughts 09272008

1. two nights (or days, I really don't have sense of time or direction right now) spent at Rome and it is already giving me such a creative juice for lot of things. It's beyond amazing that I can write poems again. I had hard times last couple months to come up with anything but last couple days have been blessing. It feels so good to sit down (anywhere) and just write. Not to mention me taking pictures, street photography is in full effect!
2. anxiety attacks, oh...stop it
3. food is amazing, enough said. I do have to find a gym.
   
4. I appreciate both orders and freedom right now. Freedom to wander around and do what I do is simply amazing although I lose all the vocabularies of mine in translation - even that is so refreshing to some degree!- . I may not miss having orders but I do appreciate it even more although I will fret my asses off once I get a batch of orders being handed to me in future.
   
5. Walking, FTW.
   
6. Right now, so many thoughts are crossing my minds. I knew and was determined that there were lot of thingkings to do coming in. Not only my direction with my photography (or life) but also the idea of transferring. I cannot say I completly ruled an idea of transferring out even though I truly want to stay at UW and finish my academic pursuit there, no doubt. Anyway, I do not know where all the pieces of puzzle right now and it's far away from completing but it really doesn't matter at this point. I am giving a serious attention on what I want in my life. I had all the greeds that a boy can ever ask for then some but now it's about finding a way to build a structure around my wishes. Like I said before, I am here to learn how to love. Transferring or staying, regardless, it is about love myself, love my dream, love somebody in the future and love this life. Furthermore, how to give back the love because at the end of the day, I know I'm a boy that thirst for a love and eager to pass onto others as soon as I receive one. Wait for me and wish me luck.
   

ciao from Roma

few thoughts 09262009

so before I touched down to Rome, I was at London and a flight delay got me stay there about 6 hours....and few things I have notice between then and now, the arrival of Rome

1. British accent is truly hot and when is spoken by a petite Asian girl, the hotness soars to the chart!

2. I actually did look for Starbucks when I was in London

3. Heathrow airport looked lot like downtown Vancouver for some reason, good and bad.

4. I have truly come to Europe: cab drivers running on red light, pedastrians run for their life with a race against cars and no SUVs. I miss my silver Lex already. LOL.

5. whoever said British girls aren't cute, you should get out more often. Although some of them are OC girls with a British accent, not a good look.

6. Gordon Brown is not better than Golden Brown...

7. That British-Asian girl, mmm!

The Arrival

- First day. Super jet lag and I do not know where to begin.-


Home is in distance, people passed.
The genesis is over like 'what year is this?', times lapsed
Budding with noises and crisp air may taste stale
But sound of freshness, hits my chest like summertime whale
I miss you, you sweet thing.
Although not a word crossed since our hearts never cling

Bespoke the truth if it will tame me
But voice so low I fear, it will desolve.
It is not the past I fear but tomorrow I love to see
Melancholy to the fact, the crosspath is too late to solve
I dive, to the time where it will accept nobody
Me the howling sunshine, will look through the sky
Maybe I come around and kiss a girl without feeling guilty
and a girl would see the truth in a boy who is refused to stay dry...


learn to love, chapter 1, starts now.

09242008

Sprinkle strange words on the island
like tattoing through the literature.
Fingers only felt the texture, the contour of a creature.
Touching skies around heart's favorite day,
only to calm a bristle by the autumn's gate.
The flight of boyish hope,
won't die and a boy won't let it die
but shook heads while words won't utter out.
Hoped it could last in YOUR mouth; SO I hope.
Never. The. Less. Regrets mean nothing when sights are blurred
and mirror's remain dark. Full moon came up and went away, you know.
Tart but sweet.
Like cliches, or front page ingenues
but must you know
this truth I tried to bore for you
that I always kept tight with a pride
even through a bashful skin and timid toes.
So,
you can wait
and I could see you from miles away, now
eventually,
or
not...
Let the farewell wait on the avenue
so it won't change your face
and I could let it go finally when scenes switch
and all the tears are drained out to its last thread.
Treading on the patches,
the bumpy curtain call
lights are off but sun might come up.

aiyyo!

yours truly here.

As you may know, your boy Dizzle is off to Rome and other European cities until the year's end. This is the place where you can check on me and I'll make sure that my ass is alive and safe. I'll start rub on your faces how great this experience is week in and week out and you can throw me tomatoes when I come back (I'm quick with my feet though).

I'll be home for Christmas but you know...you never know. mmhmm!

Anyway, I'll post some pictures and maybe who knows, I might run into some Italian supermodel and go to some hot party thrown by an Italian soccer star and you'll be all jealous. You know I can pull that stunt, what can I say, it's your boy after all.

I love you guys and keep your hopes so we can change! Stay tune! Def!

your boy,

Dizzle xxi